Category: Humor
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Ah, The Idiotic, Disgusting Miracle Of The Human Body!
Was there some point in our evolution when the ability to produce enormous volumes of mucus on demand gave us that edge? Like a defense mechanism? “Evidence indicates that early man, when attacked, could produce tremendous amounts of snot, causing the predator to get horrified and queasy, thus losing his appetite. Humans without this ability,…
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Transcription Excerpt #1 Of A Press Conference From When I Am President.
For example, this year October will be 34 days long, with the addition of the eleventeenth, the eighth: parts I and II, and pi-r-squared. We’ve got 50 back-up days ready to go. American can-do spirit at its finest. Other countries work for the calendar, we make it work for us. Hey! I just made that…
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Well, sir, if you’re going to bring a nice suitcase like that, it’s going to get a little shredding
In fact, I even overheard one reservation in process get cancelled simply because the man on the phone hated cats. That’s a serious hatred of cats. That or it was actually his wife who wanted to go to the coast and finally found a reason to get out of it. “But honey! There’s a cat!…
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“A Cranky, Rambling Observation Noting Y-despread Monstrosities.” Yeah!
I have, what I have come to accept as, a strange pet peeve. It is not my biggest pet peeve (can anyone know that? I mean, there’s a thin line between, say, your biggest pet peeve, and your smallest actual “issue” or “cause” or “hate”) nor is it my most ironic (that would be my…
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Albums & Songs, Part 1 of Probably A Dozen or So…
Of course, categorizing people is always absurd, limited, and sometimes genocidal. Also, I suspect this little categorization will remain solvent until – at best – the end of this paragraph. BUT! It seems that there are song people, and there are album people. See? Even writing it, I feel like, “Yeah! Damn strai… well, kind…
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And That, Ming-Mai, Is Why I Acted Like I didn’t See You When I walked By You At The Bus-Stop The Other Day…
I still eat olives – I love olives. However, should you and I ever find ourselves eating olives together, and the olives have pits, I will – I assure you, I will – say to you at some point as you reach for an olive, “They have pits. Just so you know.”
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Obviously, it will be in 3D. Obviously.
after the success of DK, he can do damn near anything he wants, and people will be asking, begging to throw money at the film – the kiss of death for so many films. Sequels are always bigger, and part 3’s always are BIGGER. MORE CROWDED. TERRIBLE.
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Have your answers ready!
It covers the whole “what kind of music do you like,” which is itself, let’s face it, a total waste of a question. “Oh, lots of different kinds.” Yawn. Impossible to really answer, no one learns anything. The only way that question would tell you anything is if the respondent said something like, “Bruce Springsteen.”…
Joel Clements 